Dreams that hurt
by ReclaimMyPlace
Summary: Harry is feeling guilty not having been able to save his loved one, Cedric, the year before, and are deply depress. And it s not getting any better when He is having sexual dreams about his friend Ron. Making him feel even gulitier.
1. A feeling

_Strong arms embrace me, soft words is whispered in my ear making me shudder, warm hands strokes my hair back. __Smooth kisses down my neck. "Ron" I groan, in a complete state of happiness.  
><em>_ But as I being to return the hug, whisper back, pull HIS hair back, kiss him…, I see him. Cedric. It feels like someone punches my chest, making me unable to breath. Cedric´s sad eyes, looking at me, Harry.  
><em>_. "How can you be happy when I'm dead? Don´t you love me anymore? Why didn´t you save me?"_

I woke up, sweating, panting and franticly crying. _These dreams, these painful dreams_.

I sat up in fetal position rocking back and forth, trying to keep my crying as low as possible.

I don´t want to wake the Dursley´s. They would probably just beat me senseless to make me shut up.

I tried not to think about Cedric, and started wondering why I have sexdreams about Ron. We´re just friends.

Maybe because I miss him. As I do Hermione, neither of them have sent a single letter whole summer.

Now when I need someone to talk to more than ever.

Not that I can reveal to them that I love Cedric, but I can tell them about the angst I feel by not having been able to save him.

Feeling the anger rising within my chest, I rose up quickly, searching for something to throw, but couldn't find anything else then my pillow.

Which wasn´t as satisfying to throw as would have been something that could break, or at least make some noise.

I bit my tongue in frenzy, grabbing my hair so hard that it loosened from the roots. It hurt, but I felt a bit calmer.

Feeling exhausted I lied down and thought that at least I'm getting out of here tomorrow.

* * *

><p>And Indeed I did. Next day I was escorted by mad eye moody and some other folks from the order.<p>

We flew to the Orders Headquarters, which is Sirius ´old house. `

When I came in, after entering, I was almost instantly attacked by Molly.

She hugged me, kissed me and then sent me upstairs, to Ron and Hermione.

I unexpectedly felt my heart beating faster, and my face felt warmer as I thought about the dreams I had had of Ron.

I hesitated in front of the door for a second, and then I walked in feeling slightly nervous about how to act in front of him.

**Review bitches. and exuse my bad english (Y)**


	2. Plese touch me!

_Harry POV_

As his mum, Ron was instantly over me, patting my back as I came in.

What is it with the Weasleys and hugs! He isn´t really making it easier for me, I thought bitterly when I felt my cheeks getting hotter.

"Hi mate"

I tried to sound caual, when Ron let go of me. (Too soon, I caught myself thinking)

Ron grinned at me and then sat down at the bed next to Hermione, who was reading a book.

And again, I felt this rage going through me.

"So….How long have you been here?" I asked Hermione.

She looked at me with cautious eyes.

"About five weeks." Her voice broke.

"Hm! So you guys have been busy with each other so you couldn't even send me a single letter?"

I tightened my fists. Hermione looked helplessly at Ron, making me even angrier.

Ron answered in her place. "We wanted to mate! But Dumbledore said we couldn´t! "

I threw them a skeptical look.

"Yeah, we really wanted to, considering with all that happened last year… with Ce-Cedric. But Dumbledore said it would be best not to"

Hermione added desperately,seeing the anger grow in my eyes.

But the reminder of Cedric made me feel weak, powerless. I knew the tears were near.

I bit my tongue because it had proven itself useful. I looked away avoiding Hermiones intense gaze. It was pity.

I hate pity.

I sat down at the other bed, swallowed the blood and put on a fake smile.

They both relaxed, though Hermione still looked at me with slightly worried eyes.

"Sorry guys, I have just missed you" I said truthfully.

Seconds later Mrs. Weasley called for Hermione to set the table with Ginny.

I didn´t expect to be alone with Ron so straight away.

The tension grew significantly in the room. I didn´t dare to look at him, so I looked at my hands wich were slightly shaking.

"Ehmm… So, something interesting happened this summer?" Ron said,

making me jump ten feet in the air in surprise. _Yeah, having sex dreams about you. _I thought, but said:

"Nah was looked in my room practically whole summer."

He came to sit next to me.

"Hey, you know I´m here, right? If you wanna talk or something?"

The sudden closeness from Ron made me breath heavily and I felt a stinging feeling in my hand to make him grab his.

"Yeah, thanks Ron." I said as I slowly moved my pinky finger closer to his.

I looked up into Ron´s blue eyes, feeling my heart beating shallowly as my finger now lightly

touched his.

**Review huh? :)**


	3. Confused feelings

Ron rose quickly and stumbled backwards towards the door while starring at me.

"Sorry, it wasn´t…" I said hastily. But he raised his hands saying

"No it´s cool, um, should we go downstairs?"

He didn´t wait for an answer but walked downstairs without hesitation.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. Why did Ido that? We are just friends.

But the more I thought about my dreams, the more I started to feel like I had to know.

Know how it would be to kiss him. With those thoughts I saw Cedric, looking at me. _How can you be happy when I´m dead?_

I started to hyperventilate, dug my nails in my temples to get the image out of my head.

"Cedric." I cried silently.

* * *

><p>After giving myself a mental slap in the face, I went downstairs to join the others.<p>

"Harry are you okay?"

Hermione asked, obviously worrying.

_Damn __her, always noticing when something's wrong." _I thought angrily.

"Yeah, why wouldn´t I be?"

I said, with a fake smile on my lips. I looked up, to see Ron´s gaze hastily being lowered.

I sat down next to Ron, knowingly uncomforting him.

And to my delight (and chagrin) we both reached for our forks at the same time, and therefore making our hands touch.

Ron, now squeezed in between the fully sat table, wasn´t able to run away, and settled with moving as far away from me as his chair allowed.

With that I sighed in my mind and started to eat, trying not to think about the shudder that shot though my spine.

After dinner, I asked to be excused and slowly walked up the stairs and into the bedroom.

I´m tired. Tired from eating but mostly from having been rejected by Ron twice.

I threw himself on his bed and prepared myself for acting asleep for when Ron would come in.

I looked at the clock. _20.00. Well, I don´t think he´s coming anytime soon._ I thought, and made myself comfortable on the bed.

I turned around several times, not finding a comfortable position and punched my pillow in annoyance making it bounce to the floor.

I reached to pick it up, and when I was to place it under my head again I saw a homemade sweater tucked in between the wall and the bed.

Judging from the color, maroon, I knew it was Ron´s. I pulled it out and lied down again.

He must have hid it, I heard earlier today that Molly was wondering why he wasn´t wearing it.

I stared at it for a second then brought the sweater against my face.

I couldn´t help myself, I moaned.

_It __smells like him. _I closed my eyes and sniffed it again, suddenly remembering my hot dreams.

My hand almost unconsciously moved downwards, pretending it was Ron's.

I moved my hand slowly back and forth against my jeans-clad crotch while inhaling Ron´s intoxicating scent.

I pressed my hand harder against my now hard bulge as I breathed out his name.

My fingers ran up to my chest and then down towards the edge of my pants, then slinked inside my underwear.

* * *

><p><em>Ron POV<em>

I walked slowly up the stairs, I can´t wait any longer; mum is really annoyed with me following her around so she sent me to bed.

So I had to go upstairs, to Harry. I considered sleeping in another room, but to be honest, I am a bit scared of this big house.

And above all, it would seem strange for me not wanting to sleep in the same room with my best friend.

But that didn´t make me feel less worried.

I feel uneasy around Harry. There was something else there. In his eyes. But I was too scared to embrace that.

I can´t, it wasn´t like that! Or was it? Is he? No…. He couldn´t be. _Am I_?

I shook my head. FUCK! _He has been my friend for years, that´s the ONLY thing there is! I´m just being paranoid._ I thought as I opened the bedroom door.

* * *

><p>Harry. Harry on the bed. On the bed with my sweater in his hand , panting , sweating.<p>

My eyes grew big, my jaw dropped and out came a weird noise,

almost like a moan but also a sigh of surprise. "ehhuuuhh".

Harry flinched , opened his eyes and flew up the bed, to quickly it seemed, cause he fell down on the floor,

his hand with a tight grip around my sweater.

He looked up at me and said :

"Found your sweater!"

Then ran out the room, leaving me fairly surprised, not only by the sight I´d just

got, but for the slight shudder that ran through my thighs as I had watched it. _Guess he was. _

**_Yep, now a picture of harry jerking of will haunt you mind forever - review!_**


	4. Caught

_I tried to touch Ron , but I couldn't it was an invisible barrier between us, like thick glass, I´m so close, but still so far away. _

_I began to hit it, __screaming at Ron, but he looked away, didn´t see me. My hands began to bleed as I continued hitting the glass, _

_and my voice broke as I screamed my lungs out._

_**RON! **__**ROOON!**_

_I screamed while tears burst out from my eyes. Ron slowly turned his head at me, but when our eyes met the glass turned into a mirror,_

_ I __saw myself and gasped by the sight as I stumbled backwards, and tripped. _

_I turned my head to see Cedric´s dead body lying before me. _

_His heart ripped out __- still bleeding. "Don´t you love me?" _

* * *

><p><em>Harry POV<em>

"UFFH!" I woke up by a strong pain in the back of my head. I looked around, confused, my eyes filled with tears of pain as well as from my dream.

I blinked a few times to focus my sight. I sat on the floor, leaning to the door where I so hurryingly ran out from yesterday.

I heard a voice on the other side of the door. The source of the pain it seemed.

_Ron POV_

"Harry?" I said drowsily. Why is he outside the door screaming his head off?

"What are you doing in front of the door?"

I heard a low sob.

"Harry, did I hurt you?"

A subdued gasp and then loader sobbing.

I tried to open the door again, but Harry was still in the way.

_Why is he crying?_ I thought as I placed my hand on the door. _Is it because last night?_

"Harry…I-I´m sorry, I don´t... I´m _not_. I mean...I can´t."

I shook my head in annoyance searching for the right words.

I don´t even know if this is the case yet. This didn´t mean Harry was gay.

There was no proof! My mind flashed picture of fingers touching, green eyes

glittering, and a sweating Harry in his bed.

_Maybe he just likes jerking of in other peoples sweaters!"_I thought defensively to my own mind.

"Ehh... Mate, just come in here and tell me what´s going on."

I said after I´d agued with my mind for a while. I waited, with my hand still on the door.

For a second I thought Harry had left. But then I heard a hoarse voice.

* * *

><p><em>Harry POV<em>

I used all the power I had left to restrain myself. I panicked when I woke, the dream hit me rapidly in the face and I hated myself for

showing Ron how weak I was. As much as I wanted to do what Ron told me, I couldn´t.

I couldn´t find my voice; when I opened my mouth nothing came out besides a hoarse whisper and when I tried to move away from the door,

or even stand up, something inside me forced me down again.

"_I can´t."_ I gasped out, unable to breathe.

I felt tears running down my cheeks when I heard my own words.

And with my last strength I heaved up on my feet, leaning to the door.

"Harry…"

Pity again.

"_Don´t... __**Please." **_I begged, and then walked down the corridor, thankfully Ron didn´t follow me.


	5. Almost

**Here we are, the story continues :3**

* * *

><p><em>Harry POV<em>

I forced a smile when Sirius patted my back.

"You take care now, take it easy, okay?"

I nodded and started walking out the door with the others, when I felt a sudden urge to hug him.

I turned and ran to him,

"Good bye." I said while giving him a fierce hug.

I can´t help but feel like the words had more meaning then it should.

Sirius chuckled and ruffled my hair.

"Bye, Harry!"

I reluctantly let go of him and went outside, looking at my feet.

I felt an ache in my stomach, like something bad would come to pass.

Not to mention the dreams that have only gotten worse since that morning with Ron.

When I couldn´t find the strength to tell him my feelings.

I feel too guilty, I feel like it´s my duty not to love anyone else then Cedric.

That I have to stay truthful to him, I owe him that much.

I have avoided Ron the past couple of weeks.

Cause I feel too much pain being around him. Because what my body wants, my mind wont allow me.

And when two parts of your body work against each other you don´t feel very well.

So it´s best not to be near him.

* * *

><p>As if fate heard my thoughts I suddenly tripped on my feet, bringing the person in front of me down with me.<p>

Of course. Of all people it had to be Ron that laid on top of me.

I closed my eyes.

His weight was surprisingly comfortable, even with us both lying on the ground.

Ron gasped for air and then groaned in pain.

His breath tickled my ear and I felt goosebumps all over my body.

I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning as Ron pushed his groin against mine to pull himself up.

With my eyes still firmly closed I felt the weight ease on me and I sighed in relief.

I waited another few seconds before I opened my eyes, to give Ron a chance to walk away.

But when I opened my eyes I met the bright blue ones that I tried to avoid.

I gasped as I felt a stinging feeling in my chest.

_Why is he __making it harder for me?_

* * *

><p><em>Ron POV<em>

I kneeled in front of Harry waiting for him to open his eyes and when he did my heart jumped.

I felt like I was falling through the sky. I reached my hand towards Harry, wanting to touch him.

But the green eyes closed again and a deep frown of pain appeared on his forehead.

His jaw clenched as if though he tried to keep something to come out.

Then he pushed my hand away and rose by himself.

"_Let me be." _He whispered and walked away from me leaving me with my confusing feelings.

I felt annoyed with myself as I waited for my heart to slow down. I couldn´t handle all the feelings that ran through me.

What did they mean anyway? I felt so repulsed by myself and of the thoughts I got when I looked him in the eyes.

_I´m in to girls,_ I thought as I ran through the pillar at platform ¾.

I sat down next to Hermione who was reading a book;

I stared intensely at her breast. _They´re nice, aren´t they? I like boobs. I do!_ I thought defensively.

I heard an irritated cough and looked up quickly and met a pair of angry, brown eyes.

"Found what you were looking for?" She asked and turned her back to me with a load snort.

I sighed and looked out the window, but soon I got bored by the silence and started humming.

"Would you _stop_!" Hermione hissed and smashed her book in the table.

"NO, I´m too restless! " I replied, annoyed. Something was missing. I looked around. Oh...

"Where´s Harry anyway?" I asked her.

Hermione looked around to, with an embarrassed look on her face.

I bet she haven´t even notice he was gone.

"I don´t know. Maybe he´s in the bathroom? Maybe he´s sick. He has been looking kind of down lately, I wonder why…?"

I looked down. She raised her eyebrow.

"Do you have something to do with this?" She asked sternly.

"I don´t know." I said truthfully.

"He´s just been acting so weird the last couple of weeks, you know. Crying and all that."

I mumbled and looked at my fingernails.

"He has been crying? When? Why? Well I guess it´s kind of obvious; he did watch his friend get murdered. "

I flinched at that and looked at her as if she had said something extremely important, but then the thought slipped

away and I stood up.

"I should go look for him." I said and opened the door.

I went to the end of the train and leaned to one of the bathroom doors.

"Harry?" I hissed. I heard a muffled sob.

"Ro-Ron… Go please."

I placed a hand on the door, and leaned my forehead agaisnt it.

"No, I won't leave you like this. Tell me what´s wrong, mate."

I waited as the sobbing slowly reduced. Then a hoarse voice was heard.

"It´s just hard. Y-you know?" Harry swallowed loudly. "_always_… A-and…"

I waited for him to continue, but he didn´t.

* * *

><p><em>Harry POV<em>

I gasped for air but the crying seemed to keep coming up my throat.

I placed my hands over my mouth and bit my tongue to keep Ron from hearing

my crying. Tears over-flood my eyes and I gasped once more to collect strength.

"And _he-he´s_ everywhere.

It´s _my_ fa-fault Ron! I just want… to to- touch y-y…" Once again I felt something pushing me down.

"_But I can´t"_ I cried.

Ron´s breathing sounded strained and soon I heard him whisper.

"Harry unlock the door please" He asked in a weird voice.

I hesitated, but then did as I was told. Bad habbit I guess.

I attempted to walk out the door, but Ron stood in my way looking unsure what to do.

I looked him in the eyes, with tears still streaming down my face.

He flinched and then embraced me in a warm hug.

"Oi, don´t cry." He said as his hand patted my back.

It felt comforting, but then Ron´s hand slowed down, and his hand started shaking as it moved up to my

neck.

A shiver ran down my spine when Ron drew his fingers through my hair.

My heart started beating fiercely and I heard nothing else then Ron´s heavy breathing.

Then Ron let go of me, the absence was frightful, I felt cold but then Ron started approaching again.

I felt the guilt trying to come back, but I pushed it down, I have waited so long for this.

Ron´s face grew nearer to mine and I felt like crying with happiness.

Our lips touched and I moaned in pleasure, Ron´s lips where soft and warm, but very uncertain.

I showed them the way as I parted his lips.

Ron´s breath hit my face and I heard a low whimper from Ron and I felt something grow in Ron´s pants.

He suddenly pushed me away;

"Get off!"

He looked repulsed. I felt the rejection hitting my face.

I bit my lip to keep myself from crying again.

"This is _wrong._" Ron said, not looking at me, and then he ran away.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi, As i said, i can´t get a beta reader - but you´ll have to live with it<strong>


	6. Crossing a line

**There is a lot of chaning POV in this one. To really set you in in BOTH their feelings. **

_Harry POV_

* * *

><p>I hated myself for believing that Ron actually wanted me, I felt humiliated, exposed.<p>

I gave him a part of myself, and he had just thrown it away.

I remembered how repulsed Ron had looked. I moaned.

_I feel so embarrassed!_ My eyes started to fill with frustrated and humiliated tears.

Luckily for me, no one will see them, because it´s raining and I walk behind everyone else.

Ron had rushed out the train and Hermione had tried to keep up with him, asking what had happened.

I don´t want to hear Ron making fun of me. I heard Ron´s voice in my head.

"That fuckin gay tried to attack me!" I knew deep down, that Ron would never say that, but I felt so ashamed and angry.

My thoughts were disturbed by a weird noise, I looked up just to gasp and stumble backwards in surprise.

A big, winged, skeleton horse was attached to the carriage. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times.

"You´re not going mad." A blond girl behind him said, she had dreamy eyes and had radishes in her ears.

"I see them too." She smiled at me. I didn´t dare speak because my throat felt dry and brittle.

I sat down next to her in the wagon though I did keep my distance.

I looked down and frowned, my cheeks were stiff by the dried tears.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal but to fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. "

O looked around to see who she was speaking to, but there was nobody else there but him.

She didn´t look at me, but out the window.

"Who are you?" I asked.

She turned her head at me, and her big eyes looked dreamily at me.

"I´m Luna, and you´re Harry Potter."

I automatically covered my scar with my hair but fond that it wasn´t needed, Luna had already turned her head and started humming.

When we arrived at Hogwarts I sat down next to Seamus, who didn´t seem to notice my swollen, red eyes.

Actually he didn´t even look at me, and I didn´t want to attract attention, so I didn´t bother to say Hi.

I watched Luna as she sat down at the Ravenclaw table and thought about what she had said to mebefore.

Am I afraid of love? I am afraid to get _attached_ to people, because it seemed that people only got hurt around me and if I was

hopeful, I would only get more disappointed.

I looked up and searched for Ron, and found him sitting a few people away from me.

His wavy, red hair covered his face in a beautiful kind of way.

He looked annoyed, while he rubbed his hands against his forehead, he didn´t even touch his food, and that´s saying something.

I sighed, _I wonder what he´s thinking. _

Ron suddenly turned his head, his eyes searching for someone and found him.

Our eyes met and Ron almost choked when he realized that I was looking at him.

His blue eyes lowered and his cheeks went red.

_I guess it´s pretty obvious what he was thinking about. _I must have made his life a living hell.

Pushing myself on him.

Laying the blame at myself felt better, it was less complicated, and it was kind of a bad habit from living with the Dursleys.

* * *

><p><em>Ron POC<em>

_Is he still looking?_ I thought as I dared a second look at Harry. _Fuck! _He is.

I grabbed a toast from the table and started eating eagerly to cover up that I had watched him.

Hermione gave me a disgusted look and turned her back at him.

I didn´t look up again until Hermione poked me in the ribs and said that the feast was over.

I hurried out the hall, to keep up with her.

"uhh, why is he walking so fast, I want to talk to him!" Hermione said, looking at Harry who almost ran up the stairs.

She turned her head fast to me.

"How did it go with him by the way? Did you speak to him? What did he say?"

I frowned as I thought how he should answer her.

Even though I need someone to talk to about my confusing feelings, I don´t dare to.

If I am disgusted myself of how I feel , what wouldn´t Hermione think about me?

Though It couldn´t be true.

I´m not gay for real. I´m just confused, when I saw Harry´s crying face, saw him that vulnerable, I felt something , and my arms had moved by

themselves. Slowing down, making the moment intense, hot, and the hug had felt so... So soft. Not at all masculine.

Not at all like hugging a guy friend. _It´s Harry´s fault! His tears, his crying were so confusing! I _thought.

I kept finding excuses, cause I didn´t want to admit to myself what I am.

But I feel bad about how I treated Harry.

I had allowed Harry to enter my mouth, almost unconsciously, but when I had felt myself getting hard, I realized what I was doing, and ,my

mind took control of me again.

I had pushed him away in pure self-hatred and chock. But I can´t deny, even though I tried to push those thoughts away, that I had like kissing

him.

I had liked feeling his wild, raven-black hair between my fingers, liked hearing him moan in pleasure, liked his taste, his scent , everything about him.

_No,no,no,nooo!_ _Don´t think about it! I_ told myself.

Maybe I didn´t like it. I have never even kissed a girl! How could I know, if this is how it should feel?

Lost in thoughts I forgot to answer Hermione, and I didn´t even notice where my feet lead me. Which were to the boys dormitories.

I did however notice where I was when I opened the door

* * *

><p>.<p>

"LEAVE MY MOTHER AWAY FROM THIS, POTTER!" I heard Seamus scream.

I looked up to see both of then pointing their wands towards each others chests, breathing fiercely.

"Oi! What´s going on here?" I said looking at them wide-eyed.

I felt a sting in my chest and thought that maybe I had been hit by a spell, but then understood that I was worried for Harry.

Seamus however lowered his wand but roared: "He speaks ill of my mother!"

I tried to make eyecontact with Harry, but was unsuccessful, his eyes were stubbornly fixed on Seamus.

"It´s because she believes every word they are writing about me in The Daily Prophet!" Harry screamed.

His eyes were fierce and his fists tightened making the muscles in his arm flex.

His jaw was clenched and his usually smooth lines were now strong.

I haven´t seen this side of him before.

I don´t know where it came from, but it made me wanna pin Harry to the wall, bite him, scratch him, kiss him. _Fuck his fucking brains out. _

I made a sudden movement with my leg, but stopped myself right in time, and almost fell on the floor in the process.

Both Harry and Seamus turned their head at me, to see what the fuck I was doing.

"You know what? I don´t think I wanna share dormitories with Harry anymore, he´s crazy." Seamus said.

I tired to cool down my sudden movement by stomping the floor.

"That was mean, Seamus." I said, starting to get angry.

Seamus gave out a load snort.

"Mean, am I? Do you really believe all the shit that he´s saying about you-know-who, do you really believe he tells the truth? he asked me.

"Yes, I do!" I said angrily.

Seamus looked mockingly at me.

"Well, then you´re crazy to!" He said, and stormed out the room.

I glared at Dean and Neville, challening them to contradict me.

Dean look confused for a moment and then followed Seamus.

Neville on the other hand looked scared, but said.

"I believe you to Harry." before he left the room as well.

Harry seemed unwilling to look at me at first, but then raised his head and mumbled a "thank you." while he awkwardly pulled his sleeve.

It was quite funny (and sad) how Harry kept being polite, even though I had treated him like shit before.

I guess it´s another bad habit from living with those disgusting muggles.

His anger seemed to be gone, his face was once again soft and his eyes calm.

Though the feeling I had felt before lingered on, and my mixed feelings gave me a headache.

I massaged my temples while closing my eyes, to keep myself from seeing Harry´s intense green eyes.

"It´s cool, mate." I assured him.

We stayed silent for several minutes, so I jumped in chock when Harry suddenly spoke.

"We can´t just ignore whathappened on the train you know."

* * *

><p><em>Harry POV<em>

I don´t know where I got courage from, I had planned on doing just that.

Ignoring what happened. For Ron´s sak.

But some of the anger was still in me, and I´m tired of getting pushed aside all the time from everyone.

I need to sort this out, set things straight, I don´t care if it makes things even more awkward between us.

Ron didn´t say anything, he was still recovering from the chock of my sudden speaking.

I took the opportunity to get the most important question said, even though it was quite obvious.

"I´m gay, and I want to know if you are too, or if you are just playing with me."

Ron seemed taken by his straight-forward question but he didn´t run away, though his fingers pressed harder in his temples as he spoke.

"I-I dunno, okey? I´m just so fucking confused! You can´t just ask me that!" Ron shook his head in annoyance.

I wanted to push him further, I felt a sudden satisfaction of his helplessness.

"You did seem to like it though, or have you bought a new rat, who wandered across you groin ass we kissed?"

Ron´s ear went blood-red and I could almost see the steam bursting out of his head.

I had made him really angry, and I didn´t even care.

I smirked at him, cause I knew it would further upset him, and indeed it did, but I didn´t expect his reaction.

I felt a burning pain in my cheek, I raised a hand to touch the area where he had slapped me.

I was stunned, and unable to move. The raw feeling of wanting to hurt him was gone, and replaced by a new throbbing feeling in my chest, aswell as my crotch.

My breathing was strained when I meet Ron´s gaze again.

We stared at eachother both with a different kind of passion.

I bit my lip before I whispered.

"_Again._"

Ron didn´t hesitate, but raised his hand and slapped me once more.

I moaned in pain aswell as in pleasure. Our eyes met again.

"_**Again**_" My voice were hoarse and filled with passion, he noticed this and I saw his eyes changing to a passion similar to my own.

He hit me again and I felt the blood boil under my skin.

_"Harder"_ I begged.

Ron teased me, instead of hitting me, he stroke his hand on the sore area.

"_Harder" I_ whimpered.

The contrast of the soft stroke and the sharp hit, was to much for us both.

* * *

><p><em>Ron POV<em>

A latch was released from me and I felt no self hatred or repulsiveness when I pushed Harry on the bed and straddled him.

I stroked my thumb across Harry´s face and the redness on his cheek whitened when I moved my thumb across the sensitive area.

Our lips met for the second time that day, but unlike before, this kiss wasn ´t insecure or cautious. It was rough and hot.

_Harry POV_

_I_ didn´t know Ron was dominant, but clearly he was, and I loved it.

I moaned when he bit my lip, _demanding_ entrance, and when I teased him, not permitting it, he growled and bit even harder, making it bleed slightly, but still

I didn´t give in.

I drew my fingers through Ron´s wavy, red hair.

Enjoying the moment of victory, but then Ron thrusted his crotch against mine, hard, and I gasped in pleasure.

Ron smirked as his tongue tasted mine at last.

I didn´t complain, when I felt his breath hit me, it gave me goosebumps all over.

I tightened my grip of Ron´r hair, when he started working his way across my jaw, down to my ear.

I grunted loudly when he bit the soft skin behind my ear.

I couldn´t restrain myself any longer, I have to touch him.

How I have dreamed of this moment, I can´t let it pass, but I don´t want to move to fast either,

I´m still not completely sure if Ron would run away and leave me again.

I slowly moved my hands down Ron´s neck and started stroking his arms, and shoulders. _So broad. _

Then I moved down towards his waist and slipped a hand inside his sweater, and started pulling it up.

Ron who realized what I was up to raised his arms and let me remove it.

Then he continued kissing my neck, and then he ripped my shirt, the buttons flew across the room.

I watched his beautiful torso as he threw my shirt away.

I moved my hands up Ron´s waist up to his neck and down his chest towards his pants.

The whole time Ron watched him, as I had moved my hands up and down his body.

But when I reached his jeans-clad erection and eagerly started to stroke it, he growled and locked my wrists above my head and leaned over

me and panted:

" Take it slow."

I saw his eyes flicker like crazy, and understood that I had crossed a line.

I had been so caught up in the moment that I forgot that Ron was new to this.

I saw hesitation play in Ron´s eyes when he battled with the pleasure my hand had produced and a lifetime of heterosexual propaganda.

He raised his hands and rubbed his eyes to calm himself down.

I cautiously watched him and waited for him to run away, but he remained straddled on my hips still rubbing his face and closing his eyes firmly.

His breathing slowed down to a steady path.

I placed his hand on his waist and inhaled sharply before I spoke.

"Are you okay?" Ron had covered his face with his hands so I couldn´t see his reaction.

"uh-huh" Ron mumbled and then to my surprise, he started chuckling.

He removed his hands from his face and looked at me.

"Just a lot to process." He smiled.

We looked at eachother and then Ron started to chuckle again, deeper this time, and the movements made me moan loudly.

_Oh god_

This made him laugh even more, making me arch my back and thrust against him.

"St-stop laughing!"

I gasped. My voice was high pitched and Ron seemed to find that really funny, because he laughed even harder making tears burst out of his

eyes.

He pressed his hands against his belly and fell backwards on the bed.

His legs curled up and he rolled around in the bed laughing.

"Aaaaaah- my stomach! HAHA Can´t breathe!" He shouted.

I jumped off the bed and tried to cool down.

My cock throbbed ominous, and I used all my willpower not to jerk the living hell of myself.

"Not funny!" I said, to distract myself from my pulsating erection.

Though it isn´t easy to feel less hot when Ron is lying on the bed, shirtless, his muscles flexing under his sweaty skin, his face cracked up in a beautiful grin

and his soft red hair, wild ,from his fierce laughing.

His laugh was deep and sincere, and it sent a chill down my spine.

I sat down on the bed behind him and silently watched Ron as his laughing reduced gradually.

After a few failures Ron did at last manage to stop laughing and when he did, I looked at him and said.

"You done?"

Ron sat up and watched me. He seemed embarrassed now, and shy.

Not at all the dominant and rough guy he had been just minutes ago.

He scratched his head and looked away while smiled goofely.

"I kind of lost it." he said, and looked down, embarrassed.

"Well, you were great" I told him.

Ron smiled and blushed.

"Was I? It didn´t feel like me, and I don´t have any experience. It was like someone else took control over me...

Have you had someone? A ... Me?" He asked carefully.

I felt my heart sank. Not once have I thought about Cedric.

But now, the shame and guilt pushed back up the surface.

I turned my back to Ron.

"I´m tired. I want to sleep."

I lied down at the bed and pulled the blanket over my head.

My heart started to pound painfully and I felt the remorse filling me up.

I started to panic, I didn´t want to fall asleep, I don´t want to face Cedric´s dead body.

I don´t want to see his sad eyes as he tells me how I have failed him. How I had been unfaithful to him.

My head started pounding aswell, my mind were somewhere between dreams and reality.

I felt restless, I felt empty and unsatisfied in a way. I felt so much at once, but still nothing at all.

It was disturbing and painful.

I woke up screaming and sweating. I looked around, and found that I was alone.

Ron´s bed was empty, and it seemed that Dean and Neville hadn´t slept there at all.

I pressed my hands against my chest, to keep my heart from pounding but it didn´t stop.

All I could feel was hopelessness.

I wanted to cry but couldn´t , I wanted to scream, hit , hurt.

I wanted to do something, I want to feel something else then this hollowness.

I rose, and stood there, besides my bed, for what felt like hours, and then I heard someone opening the door.

* * *

><p><em>Ron POV <em>

I walked up the stairs to the dormitories, I had just been down in the library with Hermione, I didn´t wake Harry up.

It looked at he needed his sleep and it was Saturday, so he didn´t miss any school.

I reached the door and walked in, and saw Harry stand beside his bed, and his arms hang loose along his body.

He didn´t move when I walked in, neither when I sat down on the bed in front of him.

His face looked numb.

"Harry? U okay?" I asked carefully.

I rose up and reached my hand out to stroke his face but when my fingers touched him, he flinched and walk pass me.

"Yeah." He said, as he pulled a sweater over his head.

Then he walked out without as much as a lookback.

**I accidentally wrote Ron´s acceptance in this chapter, It wasn´t meant to happen yet. But it did. Hmm, how did you like Ron as dominant? I have always thought of him that way. Well, Review please, I get really psyched when you do. In a good way**


	7. Ups and Downs

**This chapter is depressingly depressive.  
>And as you may have noticed, I rewrote the whole damn story. I have had in thought since the forth chapter to change the the point of view to FIRST PERSON. But It didn´t happen. But Now it have. It´s much easier to understand who does what this way. I did it all for you guys, lol. AAAND I chanced the rating to M, don´t know if it´s nessicary, but, I did it.<strong>

_Harry POV_

Several weeks have past, and my restless dreams have only gotten worse.

I am trapped in my own thoughts, it´s like life itself is a dream.

I can´t feel, can´t find my voice, it´s guilt, pushing me down harder

then ever.

Ron had tried to reach out to me several times, but I didn´t listen, I just walked away.

I don´t deserve to love anyone or to be loved. I don´t deserve to be happy.

Cho Chang have been talking to me much, I let her.

The perfect way to punish myself would be to date someone I wont be happy with and who is

constantly bringing up Cedric.

I deserve the pain I feel every time she mention Cedric´s name. It´s like torture.

* * *

><p>"Oh there you are Potter, sit sown please. You are going to write some lines for me today."<p>

Umbridge said. She gave him a smug look but I didn´t show any sign that I had heard

her so she cleared her throat.

"hrm,hrm, you will write "I must not tell lies."

"I have no ink." I said blankly.

"Oh you wont need any ink" She said and sat down at her desk.

I started writing and for the first time in these past weeks, I _felt_ something.

It was like waking up from a long, long dream.

I flinched and stared at my hand where I had carved in the words "I must not tell lies".

It hurt, but it was nice to feel something else then restless sorrow.

I wrote the words again, and my skin opened up once more.

It started to bleed and the feeling of the blood draining down my hand felt wonderful.

I did it again, the pain in my heart reduce at every letter.

I wrote the words over and over and over and over again, until Umbridge cleared her throat once more.

She stood up and walk across the room to me, and took my hand.

"Hmm, there is still room for improvement, don´t you think? Come by my office again tomorrow

evening."

I nodded and walked down the stairs to the Gryffindor common-room.

When I came in I saw Ron sitting in the sofa in front of the fireplace, and when the portrait-hole

closed Ron turned around. His eyes where thoughtful, and didn´t recognize me at first, then a flash

of realization burned in his eyes. He frowned and attempted to rise.

It felt like I hadn´t seen him in ages.

His otherwise soft wavy red hair, looked dull and flat.

I didn´t meet his eyes, I knew what they will say. Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal.

But I´m dating Cho for Ron´s sake aswell as for my own torture.

I´m giving him a chance to be normal, and to be with a girl who deserves him.

I have pushed myself on him, forced my feelings at him, to make him believe that he was gay too.

I walked up to the dormitories and sat down at my bed.

I starting to feel restless again. It´s like something is gnawing at me from the inside.

The pain pressured me, soon I will be nothing more than a stain on the sheets.

I shut my brain of , _I don´t want to feel. _I searched for the numbness, but it didn´t work

any more.

_Ron POV_

I watched Harry walk up to our dormitories and sat down, disappointed.

I don´t understand what´s wrong with him. Depressed was the word Hermione used.

But why is he going out with Cho? He don´t even like girls!

Of course I can´t tell Hermione that. I feel a bit betrayed, when I finally felt

comfortable with Harry, and my own feelings, he started dating someone else.

Maybe he is taking revenge on me, for what I´ve done several times to him.

But I don´t think so. Harry doesn´t look happy with Cho.

Why did he choose the girl who cries over Cedric 24/7?

When he himself grief him? It made no sense. I shook my head.

Maybe I should try talking to him again.

I found Harry sitting on the bed, looking down at his hands.

I took a deep breath and walked and sat beside him.

"Harry..."

He didn´t move but said. "I´m fine" with his flat and toneless voice.

I put a hand on his shoulder but he shook it of, raised quickly, with angry tears in his eyes.

"I SAID I´M FINE, RON!"

I raised aswell.

" But your´re not." I said calmly.

I´m glad he finally let his feelings out.

Even if he is denying them. His fists where tightened. His jaws was clenched.

"I AM! YOU DON´T KNOW, I´M- I´m... I´M TRYING TO..."

I shook my head as I watched him.

"STOP SHAKING YOUR HEAD,you, you´re.."

His hand rose, and hit me hard in the face. I stumbled backwards in surprise.

"DON´T YOU HIT ME" I roared.

I grabbed hold of his wrist and forced them to be still.

He tried to get loose, but I´m much stronger then him.

"You´re not fine."

" I AM!" Harry turned his head and closed his eyes.

"Look at me. It´s okay."

Harry jerked his arm out off my grip and aimed another hit on my face, but I managed to grab

it again, and twisted his arms behind his back, making us come much closer.

Harry turned his head from me again.

"_ST-STOP IT" _

I heard that he tried to keep the tears away.

"It´s okay, shhh"

I heard a low whimper, then sobbing.

His arms stopped fighting and hanged loose in my hands.

I let go off them and put my own arms around him, embracing him in a warm, comforting hug.

He started crying for real now, and leaned his head against my shoulder.

My shirt went all wet.

Here we stood, Harry crying, and me with my arms around him until Seamus suddenly

stormed in. He stared at us, then he laughed. Right in our faces. I let go of Harry

Which made him kinda fall forward. He needed my support. Without me, his leg didn´t bare his

weight. I suddenly felt unsecured, I don´t like Seamus expression. Before I could say

anything he had ran out, laughing. _Oh no, what will he say? _

I looked at Harry who had leaned to the wall for support.

I started to panic, what if Seamus told everyone. I´m not ready to let people know, what I am, I ´m not even sure myself.

I gave Harry a second look, then I ran after Seamus.

"EY SEAMUS! WAIT" I screamed at him, but he was already gone,

He ran down the stairs, down to the great hall. I hurried after him, and stumbled into the great hall,

and found him laughing loudly and when he noticed me standing there, he pointed at me and

screamed;

"EY, Ron, it looked like U had a nice time with Harry, ey?"

I blushed and wanted to run away , but it felt like I was attached to the floor.

_This is a nightmare._

Malfoy stood up and laughed. " U gay Weasley? Ha-ha! That so lame!"

As if that wasn´t enough Crabbe came walking in, and when he had passed me Malfoy screamed

again.

"Crabbe! Watch out, or you´ll get sick from Weasley´s gayness, he might attack you!"

Everyone laughed. "Ey Weasley. Do you get a boner when you look at me?

Maybe I should sit somewhere else at potion class?"

I finally found my feet and ran out. My head was thick with thoughts and the mocking and judging words pushed me down on the solid ground.

My legs wouldn´t bare me,

I don´t want to move, I remained lying there on the wet grass, gasping for air.

I´m so easily affected by others words, my whole life I have been insecure and I have always been in the shadow of someone else.

I don´t want to make it harder for myself, I will only lower my self-esteem further if I am to accept that I´m gay.

But still, when I am with Harry, I don´t feel insecure, I feel like I am in charge for once, and the attention Harry gives me is nothing I have ever experienced,

I need Harry, but can´t bare my embarrassing sexuality.

I started to feel cold, my clothes and hair was both wet by the grass.

I stood and realise that it was dark outside.

How long have I been here for? I started to slowly walk inside the castle and up to the dormitories to decide my destiny.

_Harry POV_

I watched Ron raise from the grass, his red hair glowing in the dark.

I wanted to go down to him, but I found it quite hard to take my eyes of his long and strong body as he lied there in the wet grass.

It´s to late to go down now anyway. I´ll just wait for Ron to come to me instead.

I waited for long, my eyes still gazing over the spot where Ron had lied minutes ago.

Then I heard someone stop hesitantly outside the door.

I waited some more, with my eyes still gazing outside the window and then he finally stepped inside. We didn´t say anything.

Maybe I should turn around, but I don´t want to make the first move.

Though I didn´t have to think about it further because it didn´t take long before I felt Ron´s arms around my waist.

I closed my eyes as I tried to ignore the slight tingle in my chest when Ron put his chin on my shoulder.

I didn´t move, it felt too good.

Ron´s hands slowly stroked my waist, then move up to rub my shoulders and arms.

It feels so good.

I tried to restrain my breathing but gave up far to easily.

Ron´s fingers suddenly moved down to my hands, and he felt his fingers flinch when he reached the scars on my left hand.

He gently lifted it and inhaled sharply when he saw the words that was carved in in my pale and otherwise soft skin.

"Harry...Why didn´t you tell me?" He whispered hoarsely in my ear.

I wanted to press my cheek against his, but I don´t want to deal with the consequences.

I didn´t come up with a good excuse for my actions, so I simply told him the truth.

"I deserved it."

Ron didn´t say anything, but I could feel his body tense at my words in disagreement.

He brought my hand to his lips and slowly shook his head as if to say _You would never deserve this_. He placed soft, warm kisses at the scars, then he turned my hand, and kissed my palm,

then moved down to my wrists.

I sighed shakily and slightly shifted my upper body. He took a firmer grip on my waist with his right arm and placed the left one on my chest, with my hand still in his.

"I´ve decided not to let you go." He said calmly as he turned his head to kiss me behind the ear.

I shivered and relaxed my body unconsciously as Ron blew softly in my ear.

"I can´t keep away from you, even if I try. These..._feelings..." _He pressed his body closer to mine "...keep coming back to me."

I finally leaned my head to the freckled cheek as he started to sway slightly from side to side, almost like he was rocking me to sleep.

I still have to make sure, if Ron was absolutely sure about this. It was quite serious.

"People will know, and you´ll never have a quite moment."

I felt Ron smile against my hair.

"Wow, and I´m not used to that, U mean?" He laughed.

"And people do already know" He added bitterly.

"But I´ll manage, as long as you promise never to leave me" Ron turned my body, so we faced eachother, though I only reached to Ron´s chest.

He pushed my hair back, and gently kissed my forehead.

"And in return, I´ll promise that _I´ll_ never leave _you. _

I leaned my head against Ron´s heart, listening to his heartbeat, and place my one hand on his strong chest.

I brushed my lips across his collarbone, slowly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Ron let out a quite moan and closed his eyes as he moved his hands to my hips and started to slightly tug at my shirt.

"Take it off." He demanded.

I started to take it off, but acted to slow, it seemed, cause Ron grunted impatiently and pressed his hands on my sides and pulled it up within two seconds.

He threw it away and ran his hands across my body, exploring it further.

I tilted my head , wishing Ron would kiss me. He did.

Our lips met, Ron was soft at first, then the kiss deepened.

_Ron POV_

The feeling of Harry´s soft skin under my hands where intoxicating.

I can´t get enough, I want more.

I pushed him to the wall and pressed my body against Harry´s.

I bit down in his shoulder and neck making him whimper softly.

I felt my need grow in my chest, and my pants.

I thrusted my crotch against him and my Jeans-clad bulge stroked Harry´s stomach as we kissed.

I moaned deeply in relief and stroked my thigh up Harry´s.

Soon I reached his crotch and found that he was as hard as me.

Harry threw his head back and whimpered my name.

I loved hearing my name on Harry´s lips, he wanted to hear him say it again, and again and again. Louder and louder.

I let go of him and he gasped at the loss and reached his arms out to grab me again, but I took a step back and pointed at the bed.  
>"Lie down"<p>

Harry whimpered and attacked my mouth in pure need.

I pushed him away, with some difficulty , considering my need was as bad as Harry´s.

"Lie. Down. At. The. Bed." I hissed hoarsely.

I pushed him towards the bed, and he fell backwards into it.

I gave him a burning look and he lied down, breathing heavingly.

It was some sight to behold, I stood their for several minutes, just staring at his beautiful being.

I got interrupted in my thoughts at Harry´s low whimper.

I looked him in the eyes, and without breaking eye contact, I jerked off my sweater.

Harry moaned my name. Begged me to touch him.

I walked to him, but stopped right next to the bed, and slowly drawed my fingertips on his torso, down his hips, slightly stroking the edge of his pants, then moving upwards again.

I felt him shiver under my touch as I tried to ignore my throbbing cock.

Though I didn´t manage that for long. Seeing Harry squirm at my teasing fingers, made me so horny I didn´t know where to go.

I pressed my hands against my bulge, and started to stroke it, to ease my hurtful erection.

Harry attempted to sit up, but I forced him down again.

"Don´t move" I growled.

I saw Harry´s eyes widen when I gave more space for my majestic erection by unbuttoning my jeans and pull them down.

I started stroking the length of it, never breaking eye contact with Harry.

It drove him mad, I could tell. That´s the purpose with all this anyway, to teas him.

So when Harry let out a anguished whimper and started to stroking his still jeans-clad cock,

I growled and straddled him, locking his wrist above his head.

"No, you are not allowed to do that" I whispered in his ear, leaning in to him.

Harry bit his lip but couldn´t hold in the moans for long.

I began to lightly rub my crotch against his.

"R-ron! Then-THEN. stop te-teasing!" He grunted out between his jerky breaths.

"pfft, I´m calling the shots here, mate." I said while licking Harry´s ear.

"This is payback for dating that crybaby Cho, you like her, huh?" I hissed.

I unzipped Harry´s trousers slowly, letting the zip stroke his cock, then pulled them down.

"Thought you could ignore me, huh?"

My lips barely touched his now boxer-clad erection.

I let my breath tickle him while I continued lecturing him.

"You like her better,ey? Does she make you feel like this?"

I started stroking Harry´s thighs and now licked the fabric on the top of Harry´s cock,

it was a small wet stain right there, it tasted salty and unfamiliar,

but I found it wasn´t completely unpleasant.

I smirked when Harry gasped, whimpered and thrutsted into my tongue, wanting more, it seemed. But I raised my head, stopping what I was doing and met Harry´s lustfilled eyes with a mockingly surprised look on my face.

"Maybe you want her to do this? I bet she does this better than me anyway."

I attempted to get off him, but he grabbed hold of my boxers and pulled me back again with a groan.

"N-No!" He gasped

I smirked. "No u say? Then tell me. Tell me who you want!"

My slipped inside Harry´s boxers and I hesitated only for a split second before I grabbed his cock firmly, and started stroking the length of it. This part I know. Though it feels weird doing it _on another guy_ , but the arousal I feel by hearing Harry moan in pleasure at my touch, my strokes is insane.

"Who do you want!" I repeated while tightening my grip around his cock.

"Aaah-I w-want you, Ron!" He gasped.

At the sound of my name I crashed my lips on Harry´s.

I cupped his face with both my hands, and by that, leaving Harry´s cock twitching in need.

Harry whimpered at the loss, but kissed me back wholeheartedly and put his legs around my waist.

I felt Harry´s dick stroking my belly as we moved.

It sent shivers down my spine.

My tongue swirled desperately in his mouth, wanting to taste every inch of his mouth.

Harry´s hands run up my thighs, his gentle touch made me crazy.

Then he tugged down my boxers, making me even crazier.

He jerked his hips against me, rubbing our cocks together.

The sensation were incredible I went blind in my pleasure.

I new this was right for me, I fully accepted myself when I realized a women could never make me feel this way, a women can´t even do this kind of thing.

Harry convinced me further when he placed the head of my cock inside his foreskin.

I moaned his name, letting him lead my hands to follow his movements.

Harry were great, he knew the spots,. His hands were secure and experienced still gentle and shy.

After a few minutes of this, he moved my hand down to his ass.

He closed his eyes while he pushed two of my fingers into him.

I let myself be lead at first, being completely new to this. He moved his hips back and forth, meeting my fingers. He looked so beautiful. I reached my other hand out to his face, and cupped his face, stroking my thumb at his cheek.

He pressed my fingers deeper into him and I felt his muscles flexing inside him as I touched his prostate. He whimpered and moaned and gasped repetedly. His chest rose and fell shallowly at his heavy breathing.

I can´t bare this for much longer, It feels like I´m going to explode over him soon if I don´t do anything.

As if he had read my mind, he opened his eyes, and started kissing me, and between his kisses he whispered.

"I´m ready for you Ron.

I want you.

I need you."

He grabbed my cock gently and moved it to his tight opening.

He encircled my dick around it just waiting for me to give thurst into him.

"Fuck me, Ron. " He whimpered inferiorly. He knew I liked that.

_God, I really do like that._

I answered him by doing just that.

He cried out my name.

I thrusted into him over and over.

It felt so right.

_This is so right._

Harry clenched his fingers on my back, dug his nails in.

He tore my skin, sending electric shocks straight down to my cock, which I was thrusting into him for all I was worth.

His cock was rubbing my belly as I moved over him and soon we both let out our releases, his on my stomach, mine deep inside him.

_Harry POV_

Ron collapsed on top of me, but I didn´t complain.

Feeling his weight on me like this, is something I have dreamed of for long, nothing could make me push him away. I wanted him to lay their forever.

His weight was comfortable, his body warm and sweaty, as was mine.

My happiness were beyond life, I was euphoric.

Better yet, Ron looked just as happy as I did.

He leaned his chin into his hand while the other one brushed my hair back.

He smiled softly then brushed his lips across my forehead while I kissed his neck.

I don´t know for how long we kept going, but suddenly he had fallen asleep on top of me, snoring silently into my neck.

The perfect moment, one would say.

**SO, finally! You don´t know for How long I have fought with that sexscene, and it didn´t turn out as good as I wanted it to be. And I now the ending sucked, but I couldn´t find a good sentence to end the whole thing with. Well, review and all! Makes me happy.**


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